If you ask people “Do you believe in love? in compassion? in kindness? in friendliness?” they say yes (mostly) but tell them these are words used in workshop settings and you can see them flinch or inwardly roll their eyes.
There was nothing touch-feely about being Real! You cannot be Real if you refuse to acknowledge how you give and receive these types of words and feelings. But there’s no denying that it takes courage and confidence to be THAT REAL. And, truth be told this way of being with yourself, others and the world is not for everyone. the beauty of us all is that we all express ourselves differently so lets not pretend there’s a specific formula for being real and confidence in your realness.
So I’m sharing my excitement about a the forthcoming Confidence workshops and the experience of facilitating a Being Real workshop recently when Friend D, says “imagine how it would be being paid to NOT be yourself”.
I don’t have to imagine it! Memories of my struggle NOT to be myself (and how that affects my confidence) are still fresh. I keep them fresh lest I relapse. I know how easy it is for me to lapse back into “fitting-in”, “acting-as-if”, “putting on my game face”. I also know, from hard-won lived experience that it’s simpler but not always easy to have the confidence to be utterly myself with loving kindness, compassion, curiosity and excitement.
Here are some of the thing that helps me reclaim my self-confidence, moment by moment:
- being mindful – to breath, to be present; to feel, see, hear, connect…
- staying curious and interested;
- slowing right -down until I catch-up with the reality of this moment and when I do…
- knowing when to say Yes or No or Perhaps in the correct order and at the right time