Last year someone told me something which changed the way I experienced stress, disappointment and thwarted expectation.
He said to me ‘Wanjiku, the important thing for you, for all of us, is not that we don’t feel balanced, the real question is what helps you re-centre’
What I took away from my friend was we all have an inner centre, yours is not the same as mine. You know what you feel like when you’re pushed or pulled off-centre, even on our best days life is a curve ball and we don’t always catch it with ease and grace. That’s being human.
The question which I’m working on is not ‘what meditation or exercise, spiritual retreat, inspirational workshop or self-help book will deliver balance-forever-after?’ but rather ‘what helps or gets in the way of my getting back to my unique centre?’
Have you experienced your place of balance? Do you know what helps you get back it when life feels like ten rounds with a grizzly and counting?
Here are some of the ways I take back my power and get back to my centre. They may work for you.
- Breathe (seriously brilliant way to ground yourself)
- Walk and breath (amazing combo, especially if you focus on each step ad breath)
- Remember that right now, in this moment, you are not off-balance! You may have been a moment ago and you may feel so again when you recall your plight but right now YOU ARE OK.
- Talk to someone you trust, someone who cares for you. Tell them what you need — do you need someone to just listen? To advice you? To tell you it’s going to be OK?
- Write it out of your system: (this is fantastic when it all feels too much). I list what happened in quite rich language (!) and who was involved, I make a list of my feelings and a list of what I did to contribute to the situation. Then I ask myself where my fear / frustration or anger is coming from, what’s underneath that? Finally I consider whether I need to do some quick repair work — do I need to apologise or make amends? Then I tear or shred the evidence and take an action based on my reflections. Try it, it works.
- This one is good for what I call my “flare-up’s’, the little moments which shoot me out of feeling at ease in the world. I imagine what it would be like to have that sense of ease back in body starting with enjoying the tension in my face and neck melting away as I get further and further away from the moment of being triggered.
My friend was right, I can honestly say that the more I practice getting centred instead of trying to prevent getting off-balance the quicker I recover and the less energy I seem to invest in worrying that I’ll never have balance in my life.
One, some or a combination of these suggestions might help. Feel free to e-mail me about this post or to send-in some of your own suggestions.
Ultimately, don’t forget you need not do this all alone.