“I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence… but it comes from within… It is there all the time. (Anna Freud). This quote led to two insights that are helpful in recover our confidence when it falters: 1.Being confident is NOT a character trait, it’s an internal experience involving thinking, feeling, acting, and behaving. 2.Confidence ebbs and flows according to the stories we tell ourselves about our connection (or not) with ourselves and the world, now, in the past and in the future.

Do not wait; the time will never be ”just right.” Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along. Napoleon Hill Self-reflection is a central pillar in my relational therapy, coaching and mentoring work.  From personal experience and the experience of people I work

Self-reflection helps you to develop a deeper understanding of how you perceive and process your thoughts, behaviours and actions; it supports you to understand our patterns of receptivity and resistance, patterns that may otherwise be out of your immediate awareness.

CBT works for some people suffering particular disorders but nothing, not even CBT, is THE solution for everyone everytime. As a psychotherapist and counsellor I encourage patients to actively take a lead in resolving or coming-to-terms with whatever has brought them to therapy. If I think that CBT or mindfulness, medication or meditation may be suitable I encourage and support their use.

As human beings meaning-making is part of our survival instinct. The issue is not that we make up stories about each other but rather whether we are able to notice that our stories are just that, stories, not the truth about someone.

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